Women with medical illnesses and physical disabilities are faced with the challenge of having a healthy sex life. This, however, is due more to the conditions in which they are received and perceived than by the restrictions brought about by illnesses and disabilities themselves. The following illustrate the plight of these women.

* In our society, women are evaluated by how they meet the standardized measures of beauty and desirability. These projected demands affect a woman’s own perception of her sexuality, and even more so for those who have illnesses and disabilities, according to self-reports.

* Some health care providers assume that women with illnesses and disabilities do not have sex lives or know little about the possibility of sex even when with illnesses and disabilities. These women then are ignored when it comes to information, attention, guidance and planning options, which could have helped them have sex and even get pregnant.

* There is little education and assistance available to women with illnesses and disabilities on how to manage the physical barriers they encounter, such as vaginal dryness, lack of balance, pains in joints, tendency to tire out more quickly, bodily changes as in with weight, pain experienced during sex and the possible effects of medication such as low sexual desire.

Sexual enjoyment is not a privilege. Women who have illnesses and disabilities only need to work around the psychological, emotional, social and physical barriers their conditions present.

* The first step is to acknowledge and accept the illness or disability and all the bodily changes it implies. Only then will you be ready to attack them and work around them.

* Taking care of yourself is essential not only for potential sexual enjoyment but for your medical improvement as well. This includes keeping medical appointments and obligations as well as careful grooming and choosing the right clothes. When you feel more positively about yourself, you also invite a positive regard from other people.

* It is a must that you talk with your partner or potential partner about you and your partner’s ideas about sexuality, sexual needs and desires. You should inform him of what feels comfortable, good, exciting or painful.

* Explore ways in which you can make love other than by sexual intercourse. Not only will this put spice into your sexual life, it will also prove helpful to your condition and thus your sexual enjoyment and romantic relationship.

* Although spontaneity is a plus in relationships, planning is also equally beneficial, especially when this means knowing at which conditions and time of day the two of you are at your best. This will also help you prepare yourself and thus enjoy more, by having adequate time to shower, prepare needed lubricants or vibrators, and avoid conflict with scheduled medication or therapy.

Many women with illnesses and disabilities have healthy sex lives, as well as husbands and children. The most important thing one must achieve in order to have these are an assertive point of view regarding one’s needs and rights to those needs.

STDs are a long-standing and increasingly prevalent health concern worldwide and anyone can get it. Needless to say, one can never be too careful when it comes to having protected sex all the time.

Abstinence from sex remains the number 1 prevention against STDs. However, people who have active sexual lives can still do it and be safe. The following points are very important regarding protection from STDs.

Know Your Partner. Before having sex with anyone, whether or not you have known him for a long time, it is most practical to know whether or not he has an STD in whichever stage of the disease. Until he gets it cured (if he does have one), you should not have sex with this person.

Know Yourself. Whether or not you have sex within a monogamous relationship, you must always check your body for signs and symptoms of STDs. If you do have one, you must get professional attention immediately and abstain from sex with anyone until you are sure not to infect them and further spread STDs.

Engage In Sexual Relationships With Only One Person At A Time. When you have more than one sex partner at a time, your chances for acquiring STDs are higher, as well as you spreading infections you may not be aware of. But when you and your partner are exclusive, you can be more secure that you won’t get any STD.

Keep Your Eyes Open For Possible STDs. It will be of great help if you yourself can identify symptoms of STDs, especially when your partner may honestly not know if he has an STD or not. Look out for unusual discharge, or unusual smell, appearance, or consistency of discharge; sores, rashes, itches, blisters and other growths, redness, and swelling in the genital area; as well as pain during urination.

Talk To Your Partner. There is no absolute assurance that you cannot acquire an STD even in monogamous relationship (although the chances are greatly decreased). The advantage of having sex with one persona at a time, however, is that you can be ‘proactive’ about the issue. Discuss safe sex with your partner, including past sexual activities and relationships, possible use of illegal injected drugs, undergoing tests for STD detection, and your options for having protected sex.

Have Protected Sex. Condoms can be very effective protection against STDs especially when used correctly. When using condoms, you must make sure it is in its ideal condition, which is achieved by keeping it away from hot and dry storage; and you must make sure it won’t break during the sexual intercourse by using lubricants that would prevent it from drying up. Keep in mind that the best condoms to use are ones made from latex and polyutherane, which are most durable and elastic.

Birth Control Methods vary according to purpose, design, material and effectiveness.  In order to choose among them, several factors must be considered such as the woman’s health, lifestyle, comfort level, menstrual cycle and flow, frequency of sexual activity, and number of sexual partners.

The following are the most commonly used methods:

Natural Methods

* Abstinence – not having sexual contact at all times

* Calendar Method – not having sex on days when a woman is fertile, approximately five days before ovulation, the day of ovulation, and one or more days after ovulation

* Withdrawal Method – man pulls out his penis from the vagina right before he ejaculates, thus preventing sperms from entry into the uterus

Chemical Methods

* Oral Contraceptives – pills taken orally on a daily basis which prevents the flow of eggs from the ovaries

* Mini Pill – smaller than the regular pill, it thickens the cervical mucus thus preventing the contact between the sperms and the egg.

* Depo Preva – injections of hormones into the body every three months, acts like the pill

* The Patch – skin patch worn on abdomen, buttocks or upper body that releases hormones that work like the pill

* Hormonal Vaginal Contraceptive Ring – a ring inserted into the vagina which releases hormones that work like the pill

* Spermicides – suppository, film, cream, foam, gel, or tablet inserted into the vagina that kills the sperms during sexual intercourse, usually used with other barrier methods

Mechanical Methods

* Male Condom – rubber designed to fit and be worn on the penis which will contain the semen during sexual intercourse, thus preventing it from reaching the egg

* Female Condom – made of polyutherane and lubricant, it is inserted into the vagina which blocks sperms from entry into the uterus

* Intrauterine Device (IUD) – a T-shaped device placed inside the uterus (by a doctor) which blocks the sperms from entry into the fallopian tubes

* Intrauterine System (IUS) – a device similarly designed and administered as the IUD which releases hormones that thicken the cervical mucus thus blocking sperms from entry into the uterus

* Diaphragm, Cervical Cap, and Shield – latex or silicon cap used with spermicides which blocks the entry of sperms into the cervix

* Sponge – a soft, disk-shaped device that a woman wets and inserts into the vagina, and thus covering the cervix and blocking the sperms

Surgical Methods

* Tubal Ligation – a permanent birth control method surgically performed on women by ‘tying’ the fallopian tubes and thus stopping eggs from going down the uterus

* Vasectomy – a permanent birth control methods surgically performed on men which has the effect of keeping sperms from going down the penis

In choosing and using birth control methods, it is important to keep in mind the following facts:

* The effectiveness of any method relies on how properly and correctly it was administered.
* More than one method can be used, and the chosen methods can be replaced according to the varying circumstances that affect the woman’s decision.
* There is no one ‘best’ method that goes for all women.
* Abstinence is the only 100% effective birth control method.
* It is best to consult the doctor when choosing a method.
* Birth control methods aren’t necessarily protection from STDs.

Sexual arousal, in particular genital sexual arousal, is likely to have a much smaller part in the development of women’s sexual orientation than it does in men’s. Female sexuality, in general, may be more stimulated by separate aspects, such as the need to create or keep a romantic relationship, than built-in factors, such as genital sexual arousal.

With these in mind, here are some tips for men to help your partners revel in the whole sexual experience. If a woman is pleasured to the max, she will lose her inhibitions and that’s surely double the gratification for both of you.

Set the mood

Making love is as a great deal for a woman—it is an emotional event as it is a physical one. A big part of her arousal is based on this– how good she feels about the relationship or her partner. If life is too frenzied lately, if she is breast-feeding, or if she feels bloated and fat, sex may not excite her at all.

Don’t be intimidated. Here are some surefire tips to put her in the mood:

• Be her friend again. Engage in intimate conversation first so she will be more relaxed in bed. One survey revealed that women who have close relationships with their partners have more superb sex lives–no matter how they felt about the shape of their bodies.
• Flatter her about her looks. Give her a lusty gaze and whisper your devilish desires into her ears.

Stimulation Proper

After getting her hot and bothered, she will want to see some solid action to rev up her libido. A sensitive man will know by now the most erogenous zones of a woman’s body are her lips, tongue and mouth. Women love to kiss. Kissing shouldn’t always convey lust but also the love and emotional closeness every woman craves for.

• The Kiss – The right way to kiss a woman: instead of rushing and just sticking your tongue down her throat (a real turn off sometimes!), try lingering kisses on her ears, throat, neck and lips. The key words are nibble and lick and you will hit second base before you know it. Change the pressure, the length of time, the site of your lips and keep your hands busy too by fondling her ass, breasts and legs.
• Loving Her Breasts – With gentle licks, nibbles and caresses is how a woman would want her breasts stimulated. Put your lips, tongue and fingers to good use. Gradually massage some lotion or oil on her breasts giving extra attention to her nipples. While she may not likely go into orgasm with fondling alone, this will lube her vagina lengthen her sexual pleasure. Be conscious of her menstrual cycle as she will most likely have sore breasts just before and during her period.
• The Spotlight on her Love Mound - Men should learn not to take the term “finger fucking” literally. Pushing your fingers up her vagina and assaulting it like a broken doorbell will hurt than pleasure her. Rub your fingers gently at first and if you don’t really know what to do, ask her for some coaching. Persuade her to touch her love mound in your presence and pay attention to where her fingers go and how fast. As the clit is hyper sensitive, be sure to lube her first with saliva, her or yours. Always start gently and proceed according to her instructions. Women are quite direct about this when they want their men to go faster or harder.

Gathering Steam. Post initial foreplay, a woman’s breasts noticeably swells and her nipples get darker. Her vaginal lips (labia) somewhat swells and she becomes well-lubricated. Once you’ve spotted these signs, get down on her. Since women have diverse responses to oral sex, be an eager actor again and take directions from her. Encourage her to give a play-by-play account of what she’s feeling as you lick and suck away. One drag about the oral sex thing is women feel shy about the way they smell down there. A little reassurance from her partner will help her abandon her inhibitions and relish the moment. By and large, the pleased recipient of oral sex is willing to reciprocate for her man.

The Dive. Penetration can be satisfying for a woman, but unfortunately, the sensation does not last long. So instead of mindlessly pumping away, why don’t you go for other positions? Woman-on-top is the best bet as she can grind her way to orgasm and at her own speed too. Rear-entry and side-by-side are also fairly effective.

• Try the ancient Oriental method of nine shallow thrusts followed by one deep one. It might just work, especially given the fact that the bulk of a woman’s nerve endings are in the front of the vagina.
• Have your woman sit on top of you with her feet tucked in tight either side of your bum. Have her lean back as though she were riding a bucking bronco and let her delight in the extra stimulation on the front wall of her vagina—an exceptionally sensitive spot.
• Make doggy style work for both of you. Have your woman kneel on the edge of the bed and put her face and upper chest on the mattress, so she forms a ’slide’ with her back. This sharp angle lengthens the vaginal barrel, squeezing your penis.

The Afterglow. Women also differ in their after-sex demeanor. Some feel affectionate and want to hug a lot. Others want to talk about the relationship and life in general, while others just want to watch TV. The best thing a man can do is seal the lovemaking with a kiss and all-defining embrace that makes her feel truly loved and lusted after.