Our Partners

Arousal & libido

New research by the Northwestern University on women’s sexuality revealed an unexpected conclusion re the sexual arousal of women. In comparison to men, both heterosexual and lesbian women have a tendency to become sexually aroused by both male and female erotica. This discloses a bisexual arousal pattern.

Sexual arousal, in particular genital sexual arousal, is likely to have a much smaller part in the development of women's sexual orientation than it does in men's. Female sexuality, in general, may be more stimulated by separate aspects, such as the need to create or keep a romantic relationship, than built-in factors, such as genital sexual arousal.

With these in mind, here are some tips for men to help your partners revel in the whole sexual experience. If a woman is pleasured to the max, she will lose her inhibitions and that’s surely double the gratification for both of you.

Set the mood

Making love is as a great deal for a woman—it is an emotional event as it is a physical one. A big part of her arousal is based on this-- how good she feels about the relationship or her partner. If life is too frenzied lately, if she is breast-feeding, or if she feels bloated and fat, sex may not excite her at all.

Don't be intimidated. Here are some surefire tips to put her in the mood:

• Be her friend again. Engage in intimate conversation first so she will be more relaxed in bed. One survey revealed that women who have close relationships with their partners have more superb sex lives--no matter how they felt about the shape of their bodies.

• Flatter her about her looks. Give her a lusty gaze and whisper your devilish desires into her ears.

Stimulation Proper

After getting her hot and bothered, she will want to see some solid action to rev up her libido. A sensitive man will know by now the most erogenous zones of a woman's body are her lips, tongue and mouth. Women love to kiss. Kissing shouldn't always convey lust but also the love and emotional closeness every woman craves for.

• The Kiss. The right way to kiss a woman: instead of rushing and just sticking your tongue down her throat (a real turn off sometimes!), try lingering kisses on her ears, throat, neck and lips. The key words are nibble and lick and you will hit second base before you know it. Change the pressure, the length of time, the site of your lips and keep your hands busy too by fondling her ass, breasts and legs.

• Loving Her Breasts. With gentle licks, nibbles and caresses is how a woman would want her breasts stimulated. Put your lips, tongue and fingers to good use. Gradually massage some lotion or oil on her breasts giving extra attention to her nipples. While she may not likely go into orgasm with fondling alone, this will lube her vagina lengthen her sexual pleasure. Be conscious of her menstrual cycle as she will most likely have sore breasts just before and during her period.

• The Spotlight on her Love Mound. Men should learn not to take the term “finger fucking” literally. Pushing your fingers up her vagina and assaulting it like a broken doorbell will hurt than pleasure her. Rub your fingers gently at first and if you don’t really know what to do, ask her for some coaching. Persuade her to touch her love mound in your presence and pay attention to where her fingers go and how fast. As the clit is hyper sensitive, be sure to lube her first with saliva, her or yours. Always start gently and proceed according to her instructions. Women are quite direct about this when they want their men to go faster or harder.

Gathering Steam. Post initial foreplay, a woman’s breasts noticeably swells and her nipples get darker. Her vaginal lips (labia) somewhat swells and she becomes well-lubricated. Once you’ve spotted these signs, get down on her. Since women have diverse responses to oral sex, be an eager actor again and take directions from her. Encourage her to give a play-by-play account of what she’s feeling as you lick and suck away. One drag about the oral sex thing is women feel shy about the way they smell down there. A little reassurance from her partner will help her abandon her inhibitions and relish the moment. By and large, the pleased recipient of oral sex is willing to reciprocate for her man.

The Dive. Penetration can be satisfying for a woman, but unfortunately, the sensation does not last long. So instead of mindlessly pumping away, why don’t you go for other positions? Woman-on-top is the best bet as she can grind her way to orgasm and at her own speed too. Rear-entry and side-by-side are also fairly effective.

• Try the ancient Oriental method of nine shallow thrusts followed by one deep one. It might just work, especially given the fact that the bulk of a woman's nerve endings are in the front of the vagina.
• Have your woman sit on top of you with her feet tucked in tight either side of your bum. Have her lean back as though she were riding a bucking bronco and let her delight in the extra stimulation on the front wall of her vagina—an exceptionally sensitive spot.
• Make doggy style work for both of you. Have your woman kneel on the edge of the bed and put her face and upper chest on the mattress, so she forms a 'slide' with her back. This sharp angle lengthens the vaginal barrel, squeezing your penis.

The Afterglow. Women also differ in their after-sex demeanor. Some feel affectionate and want to hug a lot. Others want to talk about the relationship and life in general, while others just want to watch TV. The best thing a man can do is seal the lovemaking with a kiss and all-defining embrace that makes her feel truly loved and lusted after.

©Copyrighted by Good Health Medicine All Rights Reserved 2006